It has begun! Obsession over gaming, better start streaming.

It haunts me, when I go to sleep, when I wake up, brushing teeth, eating, heck even when I am looking at a car for my job it is on my mind. This constant thought of wanting to play the game, how to play it, what is my next step, how did I play it better last time, the list goes on and on and it never seems to end. You might think this is crazy, well yeah a little, but the weird part is that because I enjoy the game so much, it makes me happy to think about it. I just don't realise how long I have been or even what time it is.

Of course this happens a lot to me, hence why I started interest of the month, and my obsession over the next thing to enter my life. At the current moment its a game that is taking the world, well gamers, by storm. It is a mod on Valves game Dota 2 called Auto Chess. I guess its a mix between card strategy, combat and unit placement but damn is it very strategical, difficult, confusing, but HELLA FUN! I have been playing it almost daily for the past week, found the same version on my phone to play during my lunch breaks, while driving I'm listening to VOD's from way better players, (which are a lot of people because I suck terribly at this game but hey, give me a chance!) and browsing reddit and the internet for more tips any second I have alone to myself. This is what I deal with but I don't neglect things. I still have a good relationship with my partner and my friends, I go to work and work hard, house and bills are all good, but then what am I doing with my time over this obsession?

If it is like any other interest in the past, I would hyper-focus it for a good month or to, investing a lot of time, only then to put it aside and let it collect dust as I move onto something else. Now I know that that time could have been better utilised, however this is what I deal with, and without medication, this is probably going to be a recurring aspect of my life.

So that leaves me with 2 options. 1 - I hyper-focus and just let the train run its course without so much as lifting a finger to do anything, or 2 - While I am hyper-focusing the crap out of whatever it is, I do an extra action so that it can be used more proactively. For a while I didn't know what or how that would work, but it dawned on me. Let me play the game, and I might as well stream it!

Yes, yes, I know, I already mentioned this in a previous blog post, but what I haven't told you is that I have finally done it! I have created an account, customised it with the little basic knowledge I have just to get it to function, and I flipped the switch while I played. Huzzah! I am making some progress!

I am no fool and understand that I am probably going to have 0 viewers for a very good portion of my time, but the fact remains that at least I am taking one of my flaws and being proactive. Instead of shunning myself, or hating myself for this apparent fact that I do, I am learning to embrace it, and work with my weakness. What I ended up discovering has made my day, and that is that I liked it so much, I don't want to stop.

It was great, I felt like I was doing something, I didn't try to be fake or anything, just myself, and yeah no viewers, but it felt even better that I did this for me. It felt liberating to truly embrace a quality of who I am and make use of it, to grow as an individual and be a better version of my own self.

Will I stream full-time and all the time? No, I don't have that luxury, nor do I want it to be a career or anything. To me, it is like killing 3 birds with 1 stream. I hyper-focus a game, play it and bring some form of entertainment to people, while also building a community for everyone to chill in. It is very rough at the beginning, and it will take me heaps of time before it looks amazingly polished, but by my standards, I am pretty proud of where it is started, and where it will go!

Thank you for reading this post. Its my actual first proper post of what I see this becoming and it helps a lot to articulate it in a digestible way. I hope you have a great day!

Until Next Time!

~ George Wakim