Career Dilemma. Should I stay or should I go?

I tend to struggle with the whole concept of, "The grass is greener on the other side", and today it is no exception. Usually it is because some new career or job has interested me and motivates me to want to pursue that instead of continuing down the path I am currently on, and as such, leaves me with two options. A diverging path if you will of, "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" However, this time its because I'm working in a field I knew I wasn't passionate about from the start and only did it because its the only thing I could do.

Currently I am an apprentice mechanic who is in his 3rd year. I don't qualify until August 2020, but with the looming date approaching, I am forced to reconsider what direction I go and this stresses me out so much. For the early parts of my apprenticeship I was fantasizing about opening my own shop, making all the Mullah with that, or even becoming an Auto Electrician, again for the Mullah, or go and work for the dealers as a Master Tech, again for the sweet, sweet, dollar bills. Unfortunately, that money comes from the expense of those people that are getting their car's fixed and serviced, and further means working for a corporation that still focuses on profit, which is very hard for me since it clashes with my own value system. I find it hard to want to be money hungry, or greedy, and that is why those earlier fantasies about those careers didn't last long because I felt empty inside. Even when I service my friends cars, and make some pocket change on the side, I charge fairly low prices because it just feels wrong to take from them. I initially got into mechanics because I enjoyed to fix things and help people. That's where the dilemma becomes as I like to help people more than work on cars. That is where my deeper interests lie.

People fascinate me, the different stories they all share, the fact that I believe an individual is deserving of equal rights and opportunity, but it is reliant on said individual to take those opportunities and do the best that they can with what they have. That everyone should be encouraged to do what works for them and what makes them happy, not what is good for the pockets of few. Hence why the interest to create a community with using streaming as one platform/avenue as a side project is under works and I even wrote a post about it. To work in community services has come up and it does interest me, just the problem is that I need to study for it and I have a bad record with studying.

I have an issue with regulating my focus, which comes to no surprise since I do have ADHD - Inattentive Type, and so homework has been a very, very, big struggle for me. This scares me when it comes to wanting to work in a field that aligns more to what I deeply care about, as I have failed to do any form of study after high school. Even in school I did no homework, and basically winged every class, and just relied on my smarts to pass. Yeah, even though I completed VCE/year 12/final year of high school and passed, I have failed each time I attempt a University Degree. I was studying to be a teacher out of all things, which is ironic since I hate homework and am literally incapable to do it, and found myself failing another semester. This lead me to change careers and go more hands on, and thanks to my partner's encouragement, I found myself working as an apprentice. Since it is more hands on for a job, I can do it without much problems, I don't really need to study, it is a physical job which makes me feel healthier, and the best part is that I have stuck at it the longest out of everything else I have tried.

Yet each path still has its struggles. Currently I am in a field I don't find myself happy with but can do, and another diverging path to a career that aligns itself better with who I am in my core, but is full of struggles that I don't have a good track record against. On top of all this, I can't just simply quit my job and study as I am financially independent and doing so will cut my source of income completely, so in order to go this new path, the best solution would be to study while working and then transition into the new career as soon as I complete my current one.

Now that is where the bigger stress comes into play. Yes I qualify in 16 months of writing this, but I can't leave it until that time to make a decision. To remain financially stable, I need to find a solution soon. This then begs the question again, Should I Stay or Should I Go? Only time will tell, and with writing my thoughts like this, maybe I will be able to come up with a solution at some point.

Until Next Time!

~ George Wakim